Getting Serious with God: 5 things I started doing and one thing I stopped to transform my spiritual life

A few months ago, I found this fantastic YouTube account (Faith @howtofaithalife) and as I watched her and got to know her through the camera lens, I was encouraged to spend time in the Word like I never had before. But I do not truly know Faith; I know the version of the person I see portrayed on the screen (though I am sure she is a wonderful woman of God), but I do not know the whole version of Faith. This is not a true relationship; it is me knowing something about her, but she doesn't know anything about me. It is a one-sided relationship. This is similar to my relationship with God for most of my life. I knew many facts and stories about him, but I did not know him intimately.

I grew up in a Christian home and have been familiar with the bible and with God most of my life, but for many of those years, God and I were acquaintances. I knew who he was and was familiar with most of the key bible passages and stories, but I did not have an intimate relationship with him. However, this familiarity with God was not what would give me what I wanted: a saving knowledge of Him. Just having facts won't save me; it is grace that saves me through faith (Eph 2:8-9), not being able to answer all the bible trivia questions or knowing all the words to the Hymns and prayers. I desired a true relationship with God, but something was missing. I thought I wasn't doing the Christian thing right. I tried responding to alter calls many times; this time, I will really be saved. This time, I am doing it right. I didn't understand that it is by grace I am saved, not through saying the right words, being in the right place, or doing the right thing. It is a gift offered by God that I only needed to accept, and I was saved.

This, however, didn't mean that my desire to grow closer to God was not important. I wanted an intimate relationship with God, but I kept trying to do it in my own strength. I wanted the closeness that I saw others have, but every time I tried, I failed miserably. It is only since I have been able to grasp the love of God through the people around me and learn from them what it means to walk with God that I have been able to grow far beyond my own capacity and seek him with my whole heart.

In the last ten years, I have grown so much in my faith, but it is not in my own strength; it is by the grace of God and with the help of those around me. This doesn't mean, though, that I have been complacent in my pursuit of God. Yes, God sought me and met me where I was, but he didn't leave me in that place (and I am so grateful he didn't); he kept calling me forward. Today, I want to share with you the role I played while God worked on my heart, and He continues to bring his work forward until the day of completion (Phil 1:6).

I became consistent

One morning, after having recently returned from a Christian youth camp, I sat on the balcony with my bible open in my lap, determined that this would be the day I would start reading the bible consistently. I had just been inspired, motivated and encouraged by a great time of fellowship and time in the presence of God we had had at youth camp and I was determined this would be a transforming moment in my life. Each morning, I got up and spent time with God out there on my balcony, but after a few days, I found myself dragging my feet. When I was sitting out there in the beautiful sunshine, I would find my mind wandering or my eyes would drift close, just enjoying the warm sun. So, that transformation lasted only a couple of weeks.

I went through phases like this on and off for many years. But God intervened in my life in a big way in 2010. He allowed an ungodly relationship to end and sent me to another country for a season (this season has not ended yet), and it was there that God met me, in a country far away from the familiar and gave me more than I could ever ask for. He gave me a spiritual family who loved me just as I was but who also pushed me to become who God was calling me to be. Because of their prayers and the example they set before me, and of course, the power of God, I decided to be baptised again in 2014. I had been baptised in high school but had not done it with a pure heart, and after so many mistakes and failures, I wanted to turn over a new leaf. I wanted to be a new creation in Christ Jesus (2 Cor 5:17).

For the next few years, I still struggled with consistency in my spiritual life, but I made slow steps forward. I may not have read my bible every day, but I was reading it multiple times a week and praying much more often. I started a blog where I shared some of the things that I was learning (it doesn't exist anymore, and thank God for that! It wasn't very good). But something (and by something, I mean the Holy Spirit) changed me in 2018. Though I had been raised in a Christian home, I realised that I had not received the discipleship that I needed. This was something I desperately wanted to give my children, and I realised that I couldn't give my children something I didn't have. That was when I decided it was time to get serious with God; that was the day my spiritual life changed forever.

Consistency doesn't mean I never skip a day, but the days I skip are few and far between. Some days, I know my time is limited, so I have set a high bar and a low bar. On the days I have less time, I just aim for the low bar. When my days are a little more relaxed, I can go above and beyond that time and dive in deep in the Word and bask in the presence of God. But no matter how busy my day is, I know that I need to start the day with the Lord.

It hasn't always been smooth sailing, but I know that God has grown me so much over the last few years and even more over the last two years. There have been times that I have struggled to be consistent, but I have found myself showing up most days and receiving God's grace and mercy on the days I fail. God doesn't ask for perfectionism; he is asking for your heart. Come into the presence of God daily with a desire to simply spend time with him.

I found a bible reading plan that worked for me

Many Christians will decide to read through the bible in a year, starting on the 1st of January, and while that may be a great goal (and I do encourage you to do it), it may not be what is right for you in that season. Maybe reading through the bible in a year is not a time commitment you can make right now (and that is okay), or you are struggling with other challenges, like unemployment, depression, building a firm foundation or becoming a mother. Many wonderful topical bible reading plans may be more relevant in your current season. I encourage you to find one that works for you. It does not matter whether it is a whole bible reading plan or a topical one, whether it has a devotional attached to it or not. Having a structure helps us to see where the bible is pointing us to. Imagine trying to find the Grand Canyon or Uluru without a map; you might get there eventually, but you would save yourself a lot of wasted time if you used the map.

When I was a young Christian in high school and honestly even ten years ago, I would open up the bible without any kind of plan and more often than not I would find myself in a passage that I either didn't understand or was boring (GASP! she called the bible boring). Have you ever landed yourself in the genealogies or the Old Testament books of law? If so, you know what I mean. This does not mean that these passages are irrelevant and that we shouldn't read them, but when we just flip around our bibles with no kind of structure or guidance, it can make understanding it much more difficult.

2018 was the first time I read through the bible from cover to cover in a year (well, 15 months, but it doesn't matter). I started in mid-February, and I kept pushing through each day and after about 15 months, I finally came to an end. I'll be honest, parts of it were difficult (especially Leviticus and Job), but I kept going. Often, we want our bible study time to have this spiritually refreshing feeling, and when it doesn't, we become frustrated and give up easily. This is like expecting every meal you eat to be amazing. Some days, the food will just be okay, and like that, sometimes our quiet time with the Lord will be the same. There is value in showing up. I don't always feel excited to spend time in the Word, but I do it. When I push through those days, I know that I am standing against the enemy. When you feel that way, I want to remind you that God is always filled with joy when we spend time with Him, and the enemy's number one goal is to stop you from spending time with God. Sometimes this is in obvious ways (distractions through family and work commitments, illness and many other things), but sometimes he comes at us through our emotions, whispering to us Why bother? This is a waste of time. There is something wrong with you; that's why your quiet time didn't feel right. Or he uses distractions and busyness to pull us away from the presence of God. On those days, show up! Tick the box off your to-do list and ask God to help you stay consistent, even when it doesn't feel like it makes a difference. Because I promise you, you will see fruit if you keep on going.

Here is the link for my current bible reading plan, if you are curious what I am reading at the moment. Check out the bible app, bible study tools or blue letter bible if you are looking for a bible reading plan that suits you.

https://www.bible.com/reading-plans/10819-the-one-year-chronological-bible

I came expecting

One thing I believe held me back from really understanding the bible for many years was fear- fear of making a mistake, specifically when it came to marking my bible. I was afraid to mark up my bible because I might make a mistake or I may regret it later. The first marks I made in my bible were tiny little brackets in black pen, hoping that they wouldn't stand out too much. Over the years, I realised this wasn't enough, and it changed to me underlining, highlighting, circling, writing down notes and even adding paper and post-its to my bible because I desperately needed more space to write down notes. I wanted to remember the things I was reading and what God was showing me in His Word. Were some of those notes poor bible interpretation? Absolutely! Do I regret writing them? No, because now I can add notes to that note explaining why that wasn't the right interpretation, and I can not only grow personally from that, but I can also use that counterargument when I come across others that may also be struggling with the same misunderstanding. God is constantly teaching me new things so I can teach others, and if He is doing this with me, I know He wants to do the same with you.

Now, when I open my bible in the morning, I come with pen and paper (and a whole lot of highlighters) ready to make notes. Some days, it will just be a brief statement here or there, and other day,s there will be much more. God's word is living and active (Heb 4:12), and His Word is the primary way He communicates with us. When we open up the Word, we come expecting to hear from God. Make sure you are ready to hear what he is saying to you.

I started asking questions

At some point in my upbringing, I developed the idea that faith meant believing whatever the bible said, no matter how strange and confusing it sounded. I thought it meant that I was supposed to just accept it without thinking. But God has given us an intelligent mind to ask questions and seek answers.

There are often times I come across a passage, and my mind is filled with questions. Why is this passage here? Why does the bible give us so much detail about laws and customs? Why does the genealogy of all these different people matter? I want to reassure you that it is okay to ask questions; you are not a bad Christian for asking these things. By asking these questions, you open yourself up to learning. Imagine sitting in the middle of an advanced-level calculus class and just writing down notes, not understanding what you are writing and being too afraid to ask questions. How can you expect to learn if you don't ask questions? And this leads perfectly to the last thing I did that changed my spiritual life forever (or I pray that it will stay changed by the grace of God)

I started using resources

When we start asking those questions that we have been afraid to ask, we also need to start seeking answers. Something I have started doing in the last few months is turning to a bible dictionary or commentary when I need answers. There is so much information available online, and it has been such a blessing, especially when reading through those more difficult passages and books (like Leviticus) because it gives a deeper level of understanding that I would not have gained on my own. Even passages like the Creation and the Death of Jesus have been illuminated in a whole different light by simply reading what other theologians and scholars have to say about these passages.

Resources are a helpful place to start, but for some topics, we need more specific answers. This is where we begin seeking the wisdom of the mature women in our lives. When I first began getting serious with God, I often turned to one of the leaders in my church to ask her questions. This was an essential part of my spiritual development, and I am so grateful that God placed this woman in my life during that season. God places women in our lives to help us grow and develop. Our society constantly encourages this image of strong, independent women, but I do not believe a godly woman is independent at all. She depends on the women around her to help her grow closer to the Lord, but above all, she depends on the Lord. Take a look at the women around you and see whom you can learn from. Look at their lives; do they reflect Christ in a way that you want to emulate? In 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul encourages the believers in Corinth to imitate him as he seeks to imitate Christ. When you are looking at the women in your life, I encourage you to look beyond the social media version/PR version that these women project in public and observe how they behave when they don't know anyone is watching.

A story that has often been shared in our church family involves my husband and one of the women in our church. One day, they were both in the pastor's apartment,t but my friend was unaware that my now-husband was there. She dropped a bag of sugar on the floor, but instead of swearing or becoming angry about it she said "Oh shoot!" cleaned it up and carried on with what she was doing. The fact that she was unaware that anyone else was in the apartment really impacted my husband because this moment showed him that these people he had been hanging around were genuine. This was not a facade; they didn't act this way only when others were watching; this was their authentic self. These were the kind of people my husband and I wanted to be around- people who reflected Christ even when no one was watching.

Of course, you cannot set up a moment like my husband had; that was a God moment but if you spend time with people, you will see whether they are genuine in their faith and their lifestyle. This does not mean that the people you choose to be discipled by need to be perfect (none of us is and that is what makes us all so needing of God's mercy and grace) but they are women who are seeking God with their whole heart and are doing their best to emulate Christ in all they say and do. Being discipled by women like these will lead you into a trusting relationship that will allow you to ask all the questions you need to grow in your faith with mercy and grace.

And now I know you are busting to know what it is I stopped doing to develop my faith, so here it is

I stopped feeling guilty every time I made a mistake or didn't live up to expectations

Guilt and shame had a stronghold over me for much of my life. This, unfortunately, hurt my spiritual life because I was so focused on doing things perfectly (praying beautifully, reading and understanding the Word perfectly, obeying the call of God on my life without hesistation) that every time I messed up or didn't live up to the expectations I had set for myself, I would fall into this guilt spiral. I told myself I was a bad Christian, that there was something wrong with me and convinced myself that God was angry at me. This resulted in either me begging for forgiveness or avoiding spending time with Him because of these feelings of guilt and shame. In short, I lacked the understanding of God's love and mercy.

God is not a god seeking out reasons to punish you. He loves you; he created you to love and to live in fellowship with him. When we truly understand the depths of his love for us (and this is a continual revelation, at least for me), instead of falling into this shame spiral, we can ask forgiveness and trust in his love, knowing that his mercies are new every morning. Each morning is a new opportunity to seek him and live a life that brings glory and honour to Him.

Maybe you are reading this, and your bible has been gathering dust on your nightstand for weeks or months. maybe you don't remember the last time you prayed more than a quick, Lord, help me prayer. That is okay. Nothing I have said today is intended to make you feel guilty. In fact, I hope it does the opposite. I hope you hear the Lord's words of mercy and of grace, calling you back to Him. I encourage you to make the choice today to open your bible, repent for your straying (as I also need to do regularly) and ask Him to help you build a consistent life with Him.

God bless,

Jenny